My Daughter ... My Hero

Our daughter has always been a bubbly, outgoing, beautiful person

She has a wonderful personality on top of all else -

I am not just saying this because she is my daughter,

but she really truly is everything a person could ever ask for in a friend ...

Smart

Caring

Loyal

Generous

Kind

(just to mention a few of her wonderful qualities)

but we really need to add another amazing quality to that already impressive list

...

hero

...

No one really seems to understand the mind of a bully, what triggers the behavior, or how to stop the abuse, but thankfully there are people who have refused to accept the label of 'victim'.

Our daughter is one of those people.

She wanted to take the experiences she suffered through and make her story public so others who are silently struggling with the issues and destruction caused by bullying can have the knowledge that they are not alone.

There are amazing organizations that specialize in the education and prevention, but here is a glimpse into her 'Anti-Bullying' message:

 

In the words of my amazing daughter (hero)...

""Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt" is what we are all told, but I have come to realize that this is completely false.

Many people don't want to see this kind of brutal honesty when it comes to bullying. Most people just want to brush it off as kids being kids, when in all actuality it can cause lasting damage.

This is pretty much the story of the last five years of my life, and I'm not afraid to share.

I want everyone to know the kind of lasting effects that words will leave on somebody especially when they are already vulnerable or at an impressionable age.

It is not limited to school aged, or just a certain gender. It happens all over to anyone and I would love to know the reasoning behind bringing someone down.

 

If someone could answer that question for me it would be greatly appreciated.  This is not for pity or for attention, just take this at face value and be kind to one another."

 

Everything appears to be normal on the surface. 

Fun with friends, going to dances, movies, school events.

 Just being kids...hanging out

 while all along ...

 She is really suffering alone.

Is it because they are jealous?  mad?  ignorant?  or are they hurt themselves?

The root cause seems to be the missing piece to this story, but what we know is that

...

she is hurt

...

called names

shoved into lockers

tripped

laughed at

abused

 The words stick

You may not see the words when you look at her, but she carries them with her

.always.

 She begins feeling as if she is going nowhere - that there is no point - that everywhere she turns she feels alone and no one notices

 She quietly suffers while life goes on around her

 and even though they love her, her family and friends don't realize the impact that others are having on her life and health. 

 She suffers silently.

 She can't get away from the words

 and what she was told as a child was wrong ...

words do hurt.

 the harmful words become a part of everything she is and everything she does

 but she is not alone

 she can begin healing

she can have hope

she can see a future

tomorrow can be better

...

although the words are (and may always be) a part of her

she wears them as scars

she is reminded of the pain

but

she chose to wipe the tears

she chose to seek help - to talk - to listen - to become a role-model

 Every year there are victims of bullying

who stay silent

whose voices are lost forever

...

innocent

precious

perfect

beautiful lives

...

gone

 Our daughter made the choice

to believe

to believe that she is somebody

to believe that she has purpose

to believe that she can make a change

...

 And so can you

And so can your children

And so can your friends

...

 She now wears the scars of the abuse

You don't see them,  I don't see them.

but.she.sees.them

She found courage - she broke her silence - she listened to others who had also suffered.

 

Mom Note:

I would like to say thank you to:

• my daughter - for finding the courage to speak about this issue - for finding the courage to heal
• her amazing husband who listens to her so patiently, lets her cry, understands and shares his own experiences, gives her strength and loves her unconditionally
• her amazing Dad who is never judgmental and always does everything he can to bring a smile to her lips
• to that one teacher in high school who [perhaps without even knowing] saved her life.  Said everything she needed to hear.  Rescued her from the depths of her despair. Gave her hope. Made her feel important.
• to her beautiful Mother-In-Law who treats her with respect and generosity
• to her grandfather - you gave her a solid foundation of faith and an unfaltering knowledge that she is IMPORTANT
• to her cat Max for being the one she could talk to before she was ready to talk to anyone else.  He saw tears and he saw the words that no one else could see
• and finally to all of her friends and family who listen, encourage, love, and believe in her.  There are too many to name.  I believe we all have those people in our lives even when we feel alone.  (I place myself in this group with the others)

 Strength.Hope.Courage.Remembrance.Knowledge

There is help - There is hope - There is forgiveness - There is growth - There is education

 

There are many organizations that care, provide education, and provide help.

We aren't affiliated with any of these organizations, but would like to link 'Stand for the Silent' as they have wonderful resources that have been very helpful to our daughter.

 

And although we haven't been outspoken on many issues professionally, this is very near & dear to our hearts - and we are proud to share this story.  We hope if you or someone you love is being victimized by bullying (at any age) that you speak up, share your story, become a hero yourself. 

 

The world is a better place because of you

You are beautiful

You are perfect

You are important

You are loved

You are Somebody